And How Do I Actually Practice It?
Self-love is a phrase that gets tossed around so much that it almost starts to lose its meaning. Is it face masks and bubble baths? Is it cutting off toxic people? Is it saying affirmations into the mirror every morning?
Honestly… yes and no.
For me, self-love is a daily practice of choosing me—not in a selfish, egoic way, but in a deep, sacred, honoring-my-truth kind of way. It’s not always pretty. It’s often uncomfortable. And it almost always calls me to show up for myself when it would be easier not to.
I used to think self-love would feel like floating in bliss. But it’s more like choosing to take care of my body when I’d rather numb out. It’s catching the mean voice in my head before it takes over. It’s creating boundaries even when it makes people uncomfortable. And it’s doing these things consistently—especially when no one’s watching.
For My Physical Body:
Self-love looks like choosing to eat real food that nourishes me—not out of punishment or restriction, but because my body is the home I live in, and it deserves to be respected. I’ve learned to ask myself, Does this food support my healing? Will I feel good after I eat this? And when I listen to my body’s quiet wisdom, she tells me exactly what she needs.
Sometimes that’s a warm soup. Sometimes it’s a salad. Sometimes it’s a square of dark chocolate savored slowly. And every time, it’s an act of self-love when I choose to honor what my body truly wants instead of what I’m craving out of habit or stress.
For My Emotional & Psychological Body:
Self-love looks like catching that internal dialogue that tries to tear me down before it can take root. It’s stopping in the middle of a self-critical thought and saying, Wait. No. I’m not doing this today. It’s choosing to speak to myself like I would speak to someone I love—gently, kindly, with patience.
Sometimes I’ll pause and place my hand on my heart and whisper, “You’re doing the best you can. I love you.” It might sound cheesy, but try it—it’s powerful. Especially on the days when I feel messy or behind or too much or not enough.
For My Boundaries & Truth:
Self-love is saying no. Not just to people who clearly don’t respect me—but also to people I care about, when I know I need space. It’s not explaining myself or shrinking to make others more comfortable. It’s trusting that my needs are valid, even if someone else doesn’t understand them.
And yes, it’s hard. But every time I honor my truth, I deepen my self-respect. Every time I let myself disappoint someone else instead of betraying myself, I expand in self-love.
For My Mental Health:
Self-love is mindfulness. It’s remembering to pause and breathe throughout the day. It’s checking in with myself instead of scrolling endlessly. It’s taking ten minutes to meditate, even when my mind is racing.
Some days, it’s as simple as going outside to feel the sun on my face and the earth beneath my feet. Or putting one hand on my belly and the other on my chest and taking a few conscious breaths. These moments remind me that I’m here. That I’m worthy of peace. That I get to choose presence.
Other Ways I Practice Self-Love:
- Journaling to process emotions instead of avoiding them
- Moving my body with love, not punishment—whether it’s yoga, dancing, or walking in nature
- Saying “I love you” to my inner child when she shows up with fear
- Allowing myself to rest without guilt
- Celebrating my small wins
- Forgiving myself when I fall short
Self-love isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence. It’s about being willing to stay with yourself through every season. It’s the foundation for all healing, all growth, all peace.
If you’re on this journey too, I see you. Be gentle with yourself. Let your self-love be real, not performative. Let it be messy, sacred, slow, and true.
You are worth showing up for. Again and again.
Books on Self-Love & Inner Healing
1. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
A powerful blend of Buddhist wisdom and psychological insight. This book gently guides you to release shame and self-judgment, and embrace yourself fully.
2. The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Brené’s work is foundational when it comes to self-worth, vulnerability, and wholehearted living. A warm, compassionate guide to letting go of perfectionism and people-pleasing.
3. You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
A classic in the world of holistic healing. Louise shows how affirmations and self-awareness can heal deep emotional wounds.
4. Untamed by Glennon Doyle
Part memoir, part call to radical self-trust. Glennon invites readers to stop abandoning themselves and live untamed, aligned with their inner knowing.
5. Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It by Kamal Ravikant
A short, honest, and practical book written from the heart. This one is about committing to self-love as a daily practice—especially when it’s hardest.
6. Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff
A blend of research and heart-centered tools for those who find self-love hard. Neff offers techniques rooted in neuroscience and psychology to help you be kind to yourself.
7. The Mountain Is You by Brianna Wiest
A beautiful book on self-sabotage, healing, and transforming your internal dialogue into one of empowerment and love.
8. The Self-Love Experiment by Shannon Kaiser
A practical guide full of tools, prompts, and exercises to help you break free from fear and self-doubt.
9. How to Do the Work by Dr. Nicole LePera (The Holistic Psychologist)
A blend of science, trauma work, and practical daily tools. This book empowers you to become your own healer.
10. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brené Brown
Focuses on shame, guilt, and the isolation that disconnects us from self-love. A great companion to inner child healing and emotional vulnerability.
Articles & Online Reads
1. “The Power of Self-Love” – Psychology Today
An accessible overview of what self-love is from a mental health perspective.
2. “7 Ways to Practice Self-Love” – Verywell Mind
A clear and gentle how-to article on integrating self-love into daily life.
3. “What Is Self-Compassion and What Is Self-Love?” – PositivePsychology.com
Backed by research, this article explores self-love through the lens of emotional resilience and psychological well-being.
4. “How To Practice Self-Love – While Still Holding Yourself Accountable” – MindBodyGreen
Six simple steps to hold yourself accountable in a loving way and have healthy boundaries with yourself.
5. “Why Self-Compassion Beats Self-Esteem” – Greater Good Magazine (UC Berkeley)
Explores the difference between building yourself up vs. holding yourself with kindness and presence.
Soulful Grace Wellness 